Ending 2010 on Both Sides Now

I started 2010 with a fresh hope and wonder of what love and life can bring; just like this 1970's Joni Mitchell's lilting number..



Lyrics | Joni Mitchell - Both Sides Now lyrics


Somehow, as 2010 draws to a close, I am ending the year with this version. Same song. Different meanings.


Joni Mitchell - Both Sides Now - Tribute 2000
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Good Bye 2010
Hello 2011

Merry Christmas Darling

Christmas Eve again.

this time last year, i dedicated this song to you.. you lifted the song. i am sure we both had.

so, i would like to dedicate this song to you once again this year for the love we both had shared and had experienced together.

twas the days before Christmas

December 1 2010 is the 335th day of the year in the Gregorian calendar. There are 30 days remaining until the end of the year.
But lo and behold time seemed to stand still - each minute felt like hours.

Between then and now, there were a few magickal events, a couple of unforgettable experiences and several *ah ha* moments.

Magickal
The Spirit of Christmas must have rubbed off on everyone at St Mungo's. The forever stony faced Matron who unnerves me most of the time, smiled at me ;) .... priceless

Unforgettable
Faced with a number of difficult and emotionally-charged decisions, the hardest part of letting go is wanting to let go. No matter it is the right thing to do, sometimes letting it go hurts even worse. An unforgettable pain

*Ah-ha*
When nothing is done, nothing is left undone. *ah-ha* ~ doing without doing ~ - The Principle of Wu Wei

tidbits thoughts of the month

#1. we all want to believe that what we do is important, that people hang on our every word, that they care what we think. but the truth is, we should consider ourself lucky if we even occasionally get to make someone, anyone, feel a little better.

#2. no matter how many plans we make or steps we follow, we never know how our day is going to end up. so i go to sleep each night thinking about tomorrow, going over my plans, preparing for them, and hoping that whatever rubbishs come my way will be happy ones.

#3. the universe can help us to realize our dreams and ambitions. if we want something and it is appropriate that we have it, if it is meant to be ours, then the universe will conspire to help us in every way possible. if it is not meant for us, it simply won't happen. other events will occur and change our path, taking us off in another direction.

** will talk about my #Rules the next time ;)



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

tried to be as real for you ...

You were the only real thing in my life.

We all wear masks. Everyone, everyday. Sometimes we wear them so much we forget who we really are. Sometimes, if we're lucky, someone comes along and shows us who we really want to be; who we should be.

You WERE that for me.

ranDom ranTs

took a d~e~e~p. breath for nippy fresh air. what I smelt was CANCER!!!
(some sickening a*****e just puffed out a lungful of Marlboro at my face YucKs!!!!!)

DON'T CODE ME!!!!! I AM OFF CALL!!!!!!
whether RED, BLUE, YELLOW, GREEN or RAINBOW, i ain't taking calls. Period.

making friends are EASY. losing them are HARD. you are right about getting close, IT SUCKS!!!!!!

MUMmmmmY!!!!!! PLEASE REMEMBER there are E I G H T hours in between us. with very much due respect mummy dearest, YOUR DAY is MY NIGHT and MY NIGHT is YOUR DAY!!! so please don't ring me when I am in dreamland about what aunt maggie said or what uncle rodney did !!!! NOT INTERESTED.

cover YOUR MOUTH when you yawn. you are not a hippo!

cover YOUR MOUTH when you cough. don't share your germs around!

you talk to me, DON'T CHEW GUMs
you chew gums, DON'T TALK to ME.
I DON'T TALK to COWs. simple.

rant over.

just have to share this ....

tweet from @ilawton
Don't chase after the past, don’t seek the future; The past is gone, the future hasn’t come. ~ Buddha ~

thanx @ilawton for sharing. i can see clearly now :)

an epilogue from an Angel of the Morning

I am certain THEY have conjured up all kinds of stuff about me. Can't blame them, that's what THEY do.

Just to make it clear once and for all, I'm neither a 21x2 nor snooky. I am just an Angel of the Morning.

And thanks to THEM and to you, I have carried onwards.

Summers End

As the darkness now draws near,

see the cycle of the year.

As the light now goes within,

let Hallow's Eve begin..

.

****************

.

Summers End marks the end of the growing seasons.

It marks the end of the Old and beginning of the New.

It marks a new chapter of my life and

a new dawn of beginnings.

Epitaph of Love for Whoever

Think of me when the golden sun is sinking

and when your heart from care set free.

Whilst of others you are thinking,

will you sometimes think of me?

Having to say good-bye

Betty said:

"Good byes, no matter how many times we have to do it - even if it's for the greater good, it still stinks. And although we will never forget what we have given up, we owe it to ourselves to keep moving forward."

~~~~~~~~~~

Yes. I will move forward

and

I have learnt something from Betty:

The trick is to recognise when a good-bye can be a good thing -

when it's a chance to start again.

Good bye Piers.

Thank you Betty.

in loving memories......

my love has now turned into ashes ...

but the fire was joyous and high while it lasted .....

its OVER

yes, IT IS OVER ...

Don't Know Why

........ summer love is drifting away .... fizzling into autumn cold..

..... my heart is drenched in wine..

...... but you'll be on my mind ... forever.

iAffirm

Just for today, I will give thanks for many blessings

Just for today, I will let go of worry

Just for today, I will let go of anger

Just for today, I will do my work honestly

Just for today, I will be kind to my neighbours and every living things

~~~~~~~~~~~~

This Is How I Feel About You.......

I keep on falling in and out of love with you

Sometimes I love you, sometimes you make me blue

Sometimes I feel good,

At times I feel used

Lovin' you darling, makes me so confused.

I never felt this way

How do you give me so much pleasure and cause me so much pain

Just when I think I've taken more than would a fool,

I start fallin back in love with you.

I keep on fallin in and out of love with you

I never loved someone the way that I loved you

**** alicia keys ****

dark night of my soul

I haven't felt especially myself for a long time, since i met him..

I've had times like this before, but this time is different..

I feel an exile in both places - in reality and in fantasy..

it's dark time of the soul, it will pass ...

it HAS TO !!!

F O C U S in need !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It is really difficult to keep one's mind on work when all thoughts turn to love ..... blehh....

bummer..

should do my best to keep my focus!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

so ANNOYING... what are you trying to prove?

It just catches my attention

when I hear someone that really tries to sound clever

or someone that is working really hard to look sweet ..

and **wham** I hear / read foul language flowing freely from their speech...

I am not offended by anyone's language

*but* using foul language makes the speaker / writer

much less attractive to me.

Don't they ever think about how unattractive it makes them look?

Oh dont get me wrong.....

I know people swear for many different reasons.

some swear to fit in,

some swear becos it is the norm for them,

some swear becos it seems exciting,

some swear to demonstrate a point..

BUT PLEASE DON'T LITTER EVERY NORMAL PERFECT CONVERSATION WITH FOUL LANGUAGE.

I hate foul laguage, period.

I think it is vulgar and unattractive.

When people use foul language all the time for normal stuff,

it is so unattractive and unnecessary

Do you think that makes you cool?

NO.. It doesn't.

It's like seeing a pretty woman with a cigar in her mouth.

It makes you look like you don't know enough words to have a real conversation.

I believe that people should be able to bring a point across without the help of foul language.

I believe that speaking a language fluently means expressing oneself appropriately.

I believe if one can't say something nice, don't say anything at all.

So PLEASE, have more self control and respect for others..

it spoils the otherwise beautiful look of YOU.

*** rant over ***

so SORRY

sorry... i doubted you
sorry... i have hurt you
sorry... i made you cry
sorry... i almost break your heart
sorry... i'm so faraway
sorry... i'm not able to comfort & hold you tight,
sorry... i'm not your wife *at least not in this lifetime*.

I <3 you

Recently,

i've been in a state of illusion, shut off from reality.

Therefore,
i need to take a more disciplined approach towards everything i do
and be extra sensitive towards the notion of time
because our stay here on Earth is quite brief.

So,
i have decided that sometimes i should just leave the past where it is
and move on.

From now on,
i need to adopt an analytical approach to love and romance
the more grounded and practical i am in my approach,
the better off i will feel about the situation,
keeping things on a grounded level.

Full Moon ......

Moonlight moon bright,

Full Moon I see tonight,

I wish I may,

I wish I might,

Have the wish I wish tonight

random RANT!!!!

ARGHHHHHHHHHHH.........

Diagnosis: I’m suffering from typical female syndrome (TFS). It’s a condition that many women suffer from at one point in life. One minute i am a normal human female - mature, independent with a great deal of talent and the next, i degraded into this childish girl having her first schoolgirl crush - can't eat, can't sleep, can't concentrate but fretting about him .. arghhhhhhh...

every Once in a While.... not!!

Have been escaping into my dreams and running away with my fantasies lately... trying to do anything practical is met with opposition.

I Need Grounding !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! >_<"

the ULTIMATE CURE of a broken heart

Staying on the crime scene of a breakup is the worst thing you can do!!!

reason: too many painful memories and reminders.

So,

subscribe to a "pack up your troubles in a old kit-bag" method,

i.e.

OUT OF SIGHT, is really OUT OF MIND

it literally moves you on.

Living in my Life Mantra:

A man is the richest

whose pleasures are the cheapest..

mY ethiCs

An' It Harm None,

Do What Thou Wilt.

a day of reflection...

I am able to observe what is going around me while still retaining distance. Sometimes, stepping back like this does me a world of good. I should do it more often.

I MUST remember an old aphorism:

If you love something,

let it go.

If all is well it should return.

But if you have to cling,

it was never yours in the first place.

Thought of the Day

Most Happiness in Life..

is to love .. and be loved...

enough IS ENOUGH

gosh!! .. how to be cruel to be kind?????

HOW!!??!!

i was calm and compose BUT .... nooo .... you still push your luck ...
darn!! and you know what.. that's it.. i am going to be a real meanie and cold turkey from now on... YOU'LL SEE.. !!!!

i waited patiently for you to finish your work.

i even sent a very sweet note to remind you, to let ME know, when you have completed your task.. BUT... noooo... you disappeared without a trace, leaving me waiting silly ...

darn!!.. and you know what... that's it.. an eye for an eye.. don't care who goes blind..

i will let you wait tenfolds from now on.....YOU'LL SEE.. !!!!

get off my back You Monster!!!

you barged in the middle of the night into my life.
almost scarily sweet but nightmarish.
too many times too persisting..
i wish i can say "NO" to your silly invasions
but
it is not in my nature to disappoint and crush your dreams.

i am waiting for the dust to settle
and hoping you will slowly get over me
and move on to your next real dreamer ..... and THIS i really mean it....

Love of Pi

i could still remember that day you became my pet froggie.
initially, i thought you were a toad
but you turned out to be the perfect green buddy.
and you know what, i have fallen very much in love with you from that day onwards...

i could still remember that day i was so hopping mad with you.
but how dare you croaked back and pretended there was nothing more you could do.

i know we can never be together for long.
i love you so much that is why i have to let you go.
sorry my dearest froggy.. .. good luck, good health, god bless you. ..
for the last time, pretend you are mine
... my darling, kiss me goodbye .....

my Flash moment

somewhere out there, from san francisco...
the 1st thing he asked was,"dirty" or "clean" ?.
CLEAN OF COS!!... duh
so it has been clean all throughout our almost a year of emails and msn convo,
beating geographical and time zone differences...

BUT THE PROBLEM IS:
i have no idea how he looks like.
for all i know, he could be a 92, about to meet The Maker, year old man or
a fat, couch-potato geezer or
a RTS (roam the street) hobo.
we do not do Fb with each other.
i tried to do some detective work using his name, surname and email address to look in Facebook but couldnt find a tinge of him.
for all i know, he could have given me a fictatious name....
................................................................................................
...................... oh dear.. not sounding good init ........

say Hi!!!

never like blogging

but

i need a place to rant my heart out

else

i'll go mad.

so

here i am,

blogging my heart out

with the

many issues that

had, have been & will be

bothering me.

at least, i know

this is a safe haven for me the "ranter"
to de-stress without ...

my family,

friends,

enemies,

colleagues,

ex-colleagues,

patients,

ex-patients

and

whoever or whatevernots

knowing my anger and angst...

shhhh...can you keep a secret?